Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A thousand reasons why

Today's a whole new kinda funk! What a beautiful way to start off the week, my week at least. =D

I had a revelation last night, a breakthrough even. I saw this movie, Family Man with Nick Cage. It's about this dude who has a bomb job as the president of a company in NYC. He's got the Ferrari, pad and play. How he got there, was an internship across the pond in England, with Barclays bank. (PS I miss the UK)

He was dating a girl when he was leaving for a year. They planned to catch up and get married, however, he never returned and here it is 13 years later and he's about to close the deal of his life. In many ways that feels like me. I have lived this long alone and been very happy. Granted, most of my happiness came from self-centered selfish thinking that keep me one step ahead of loneliness. (I was so active I didn't stop to think)

So in this time of transition, I was forced to think about the pursuit I gave up for this hope that I hold; that of raising a family and releasing life in the earth. Why? That's where it gets challenging. I guess because the wine no longer held it's flavor and playful company began to wear thin. I wanted something more than expensive dinners, fine hotels and wild parties. I wanted something real. Something that would last, stand the test of time. In business, when you know something no longer holds meaning or value, a wise man is quick to let go.

So here I am, suspended between two opinions. A chasm below and stretched so wide. Which way to travel? How far and how high? Where do I want to go? Where do I see myself being? Certainly not a standard life, much more than that! But how do we fold the edges together, and what does it all mean?

1 comment:

  1. What if you could have both? haha Now that's an idea!